


The Human Condition

by TheAwkwardLadyJay



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Connor Deserves Happiness, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Post good ending, emotions are hard, give my boys happiness, so does hank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-05-31 12:20:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15119285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAwkwardLadyJay/pseuds/TheAwkwardLadyJay
Summary: Connor experiences real loneliness for the first time. Hank makes sure he never has to again.





	The Human Condition

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a bit of a vent fic. I was pretty emotional when I wrote it and it's a bit messy because of that. But I did my best to make it readable. I also haven't entirely decided where I stand with these two as far as their relationship goes. Part of me really likes their friendship but another part really likes the romantic possibilities. So this is another story that can be read either way, depending on how you want to read it.
> 
> The quote this story is based off, and that Hank quotes, is by Janet Fitch. It's pretty long so I'm not going to put the whole thing here but if you search the human condition, you should find it. 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy!

It wasn’t uncommon for Hank to wake up in the middle of the night. He suffered from nightmares, had seen more shit than any human was supposed to see. And sometimes his brain just decided that it had had enough sleep, whether or not that fact was actually true.

So when he snapped awake at three in the morning, he didn’t think much of it. He just grumbled irritably and got out of bed. He headed towards the kitchen immediately. A few beers and he would be back asleep in no time.

However, as soon as he walked into the living room, he realized that he wasn’t awake for no reason this time. On the couch sat Connor. Tears were dripping from his face, his eyes wide and pained. The LED on his temple was flashing an angry red, flickering to yellow every few turns before returning to crimson.

Hank had never seen the android like this. Immediately, he was on high alert.

He scanned the room for any signs of danger but found none. It was just him, Connor, and Sumo, who was curled up at Connor’s feet, whining softly.

That was probably what had woken Hank up.

“Connor?” he spoke softly, not wanting to startle the android. He remembered what Connor had said about deviants all those months ago, before the revolution, before Connor was deviant himself. _“Deviants have a tendency to self-destruct when they’re in stressful situations.”_ If Connor killed himself, Hank wouldn’t be able to manage. Connor had become important to him, dammit. He doubted he would wait very long before following the android.

“Connor, what’s wrong?”

The android didn’t respond. His LED continued to flash. It cast an eerie red glow over the room, dying everything in unsettling shades of blood. Hank swallowed thickly and took a few steps forward.

“Connor, I need you to talk to me,” he stretched out a hesitant hand and placed it gently on Connor’s shoulder.

There was almost no response. Slowly, Connor turned his head until his wide, scared, pained eyes were locked on Hank. Tears continued to drip down his cheeks. “How do you do it?” his voice was broken and hoarse.

Hank’s eyebrows drew together, “Do what, kid?” he took a seat by the android, never moving his hand from his shoulder, “You gotta be more specific here. Help me out.”

Connor didn’t say anything for a moment, his LED turning yellow for several turns before turning back to red. His lips quivered. His hands trembled where they sat in his lap, fists clenched around the fabric of his pants. He opened his mouth to speak but hesitated before a frustrated sound left him. “I don’t know what it is called. It’s an emotion I have never experienced before. It is overwhelming and I…” he squeezed his eyes shut, more tears slipping free, “I am scared, Lieutenant.”

Hank squeezed Connor’s shoulder comfortingly. Unfamiliar emotions weren’t uncommon for Connor. As an android made specifically for interrogating and negotiating his way out of situations, Connor had come into contact with a few different emotions before his deviancy: grief, joy, and desperation being the main ones. However, there were thousands of emotions out there and, even after months of being deviant, Connor was still finding new ones. Hank did his best to help Connor figure out what the emotions were and deal with them but sometimes, only other deviants were able to assist with that.

Hank desperately hoped this wasn’t one of those times. “That’s okay. Just describe it the best you can. I’m here for you. It’s going to be okay.”

Connor nodded and his LED turned yellow again. It was back to red by the time he started talking. “It’s like…there’s an emptiness inside me. Like a hole that can’t be filled. It’s heavy on my insides and it squishes all of my biocomponents until I sometimes worry they will break. It becomes heaviest at night, when I am not doing anything and am alone with my thoughts. I don’t…” he paused for a shaky breath Hank knew he didn’t need, “I don’t know what it is but I do not like it. It hurts, Hank. It hurts right here.” He lifted a hand and pressed it over his thirium pump.

Hank let out a heavy sigh. A mixture of relief and sadness filled him. He knew this feeling all too well. He had hoped that Connor would never have to experience it but there was only so much company one could have when living with an old decrepit man. “It’s called loneliness, Connor.”

“Loneliness? How do I make it stop? I just want it to go away.”

Hank’s heart sank. He ran a hand through his hair before he dragged Connor into a one-armed hug. “You don’t really make it go away.” He felt Connor stiffen against him. He buried his face in the android’s shoulder. He could imagine what Connor’s face looked like and he didn’t want to see the anguish he was sure resided there. “Loneliness is the human condition,” he quoted sullenly, “It isn’t something that we can get rid of easily. It’s always there, just around the corner, waiting for that moment when we are vulnerable and alone.”

His shoulder was wet from where Connor’s tears were falling. The android had latched onto him, his fingers buried in Hank’s nightshirt and his face hidden in his neck. “How do you deal with it when it hurts so much?”

Hank let out a soft huff, “I don’t, kid. Why do you think I’m such a mess? I drink and eat like shit because, for a little while, it makes me forget that feeling. It feels that hole, even if just for a short time.” His hold on Connor grew a little firmer and he drew the android a little closer to his chest, “But then you walked into that damn bar and made me do my fucking job. That changed everything, Connor. Ever since you came into my life, that hole has gotten smaller. It’s still there but it’s less noticeable. Loneliness might be the human condition but company is its enemy.”

By now, Connor’s tears had stopped. He pulled away from Hank and wiped his reddened eyes. His LED was flashing a soft yellow, slowly turning back to its normal blue with every few turns. “This feeling, it does disappear when I am with you.”

Hank frowned, “How long have you been dealing with this?”

Connor’s eyes flicked to something in his field of vision before he responded, “I first noticed the feeling one week and two days ago.”

Hank’s frown deepened, “Why did you never come to me with this, Connor?”

Connor suddenly appeared uncomfortable. He fidgeted and moved away slightly. “I am sorry. I was worried about upsetting you.” His face smoothed over, no sign of his previous distress visible other than his still flickering LED. “It appears that my worries were correct. I am fine now, however. Now that I know the cause, I will be able to handle it much better. Feel free to return to bed.”

Hank stood and grumbled under his breath, “Fucking androids.” He looked down at Connor, who was already staring off into space with that creepy, dead stare he had when he was thinking. He poked Connor’s cheek, holding back an amused huff at the affronted look it earned him. “Come on. I’m not going to leave you here by yourself anymore.”

Connor looked confused, “You’re not upset?”

“Of course I’m not upset!” Hank had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. For a state of the art prototype, Connor could be really dumb sometimes, “You’re feeling emotions and those things are bastards. I understand why you wouldn’t want to come to me for help. But from now on, I want you to, okay? It’s not a bother. Really, it’s more of a bother to leave me guessing when something is wrong. Now come one. It’s three in the damn morning and I’m sick of being awake.”

Connor didn’t move. “I will do my best to be better about asking for your assistance in these matters. Sleep well, Lieutenant.”

Hank rubbed the bridge of his nose. He could not believe this. “Dammit, Connor.” Before the android could wonder what had Hank so agitated, he grabbed his arm and yanked him from the couch. Sumo huffed as he was dislodged from his place at Connor’s feet. Hank dragged Connor into his bedroom and deposited him by the bed. “You’re not going to be lonely anymore, Connor. Not while I’m here.”

He climbed back under his covers and patted the spot next to him, raising his eyebrows pointedly. Connor hesitated at the edge but eventually climbed in beside Hank, for once not arguing.

Hank nodded approvingly and shut off the light. He made himself comfortable before letting out another sigh. Connor was stiff as a board beside him. “Just relax and go to sleep, or whatever it is you do.”

Connor’s LED flashed yellow. “According to my research on loneliness, physical contact is the best method of removing it.” His voice was soft, hesitant. Hopeful.

Hank felt a warmth blossom in his chest. “Then get over here.”

Connor’s smile was barely seeable in the dark but the way he scooted over until he was pressed firmly against Hank’s chest made his feelings obvious. Hank wrapped his arms around the android and buried his nose in his coarse hair. It smelled like plastic. Connor wrapped his own arms around Hank, pulling them even closer together.

Hank smiled softly. Loneliness was the human condition but it was not a permanent thing. There was always a way to fight it off. Hank was sure that he had found the best ways, with alcohol and avoidance. But now, with Connor in his arms, he realized that he had found a better way. He tightened his hold on the android and closed his eyes. Yeah, there wasn’t much better than this.


End file.
